Not Knowing
by fangirl94
Summary: Kurt isn't feeling so strong being alone on Valentine's day night now. When he makes a desperate phone call, someone unlikely ends up helping him get through and not give up. Kurt/Blaine and hint of Puckleberry. Post SLS. Rated T for paranoia


_**Disclaimer! I do not own Glee. If I did Klaine would have already happened. But like Mr. Criss said, "There is no better way to tell a love story than to prolong it for as long as possible."**_

_**AN: This partially written before the **__**Silly Love Songs **__**episode was aired. So please forgive the mistakes, I tried to fix as much as possible. I know this is so OOC, I love how strong and mature Kurt is being about everything lately. It shows just how much he has grown since the start of the series. This is just my idea of 'What if he wasn't so strong and he needed someone to talk to?' I'm a sucker for Puck/Kurt friendship.

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Kurt sat in his dorm room cursing himself as the traitorous tears streamed down his face. Why was he crying? There was nothing to cry about! He had resolved the situation with Blaine. He had finally made his feelings known or at least partially. It wasn't exactly the romantic The Notebook-esque 'I Love you' he wanted, but he was sure Blaine got it. Blaine even said that he cared about him too! Cared about him so much that he didn't want to screw things up...Yeah, Kurt has heard that before. He knew that blaine liked him, that was for sure, just not liked him liked him. So why did he feel so hated? He thought he could be strong and for the whole night singing and spending time with people at Breadstix, he was. Just..not now. Not all alone in his room with no one to fool. The sting of anger, rejection and hurt hit him again and damn it! Why couldn't he just ONCE love someone who liked him back! It wasn't fair. Although, He can't blame Blaine, at least for the time being, the senior Warbler had just had his heart broken too.

_"If Blaine didn't flirt with everything on legs,"_ thought Kurt. _"It would save EVERYONE so much pain..."_ He thought back to the hand holding, the singing together, all the times Blaine would help him or text him little messages say that he was always there for him, and Oh, God. Baby, It's cold outside. Why he supposed to think that was nothing? Their faces so close...

Kurt groaned and flopped back on his bed. That's it. He had to talk to someone. Kurt had reached his alone limit, he knew the mood swings and talking to himself were signs of him going bonkers. But when the student reached for his cell phone, he paused.

Who would he call? Mercedes had her phone taken away, the only info he got about it was something about a tot riot?, so she was out of the question. Finn? Ha! That wouldn't be awkward...

Kurt sighed and pressed the least dialed contact on his phone. It's not that he hated Rachel Berry, in fact he loved her just as much as he did the rest of his New Directions family. He and Rachel had actually started to get along after she had helped him with his Warbler solo, it's just...Rachel had a knack for making people MORE upset rather than cheering them up.

_"She's also the one who will understand what you're going through the most..."_ Stupid conscience and it's ability to make sense...

The phone rang and rang to the point where Kurt was just about to give up-

"Hello?"

Shit. That was definitely not Rachel.

"Puck?" Well... This was awkward. "Hey, porcelain! What's up?"

"What are you doing with Rachel's phone?"

"She left it at my house." Okay, now he was completely dumbfounded. As if he didn't have enough to be confused about. "Why was she at your house?"

"Uh...Glee homework..?" Oh Grilled Cheesus. "Right, don't want to know. Do you know when Rachel will get her phone back?" Kurt talked slowly as if he were speaking to a five year-old.

"Nope!" he had to physically sit on his hand to keep himself from facepalming. "You're so helpful, Puckerman."

"Anytime!" Whether Puck had caught the sarcasm in his voice Kurt didn't care, but before he could hang up a soft voice broke the silence. "...Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay, Dude?" Shit! Kurt forgot he was crying! His voice always sounds so horrible and crackle-y when he's crying! "Uhm...yeah. I'm totally fine!" He heard a little 'humph' on the other side

"I may not be as smart as Rachel or the Asian kids, but I know sarcasm when I hear it. Plus, you sound like hell." As much as much as Kurt wanted to call him racist or yell at him for insulting his voice, he could tell Puck actually wanted to know what was wrong. There wasn't an ounce of insincerity in what he said. That opened the floodgate. It all came pouring out at once. The crush he had on Blaine, how he thought they'd actually had a chance, the flirty gestures and songs, the coffee breaks and meeting of the family, the love realizations and the declaration at the Gap.

"And what's the worst is no matter how pissed I may be at him...I just can't bring myself to hate him...because it's me I hate for actually thinking I could have a chance."

The whole time Kurt was talking, sometimes yelling, Puck had stayed silent. Now that he was calming down a warmth came to Kurt's face as everything he had just recounted caught up with him. _"Great, here comes the teasing..."_

"...Give me one good reason I shouldn't drive up there and deck this Blaine guy so hard he has to eat through a straw the rest of his life."

...Well. That wasn't what he expected. "What?"

"You heard me. He can't just make you feel like that and expect to get away with it! Kurt, don't be so down on yourself! You're a great guy and anybody would be damned lucky to get with you. I never though I would have to tell YOU that, Mr. just sounds like you're trying to hard. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, but I'm not saying that's a reason for you to be lazy! And even though there's nothing I'd rather do at the moment than punch that hobbits face in...I won't because I can tell he means a lot to you."

Kurt let out a breath he didn't even realized he was holding. Never in his life did he EVER imagine he would be hearing those words from Noah Puckerman.

"Wow, Puck. That was...weird." He giggled and heard and embarrassed mutter from the phone "But it was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks." Kurt smiled, his face feeling stiff after all the tears had dried.

"Uh huh... Yeah, sure. Just-just promise you'll take my advice, Kay?"

"I promise. Jeez, Puckerman, I never knew you had it in you to get so deep and in touch with your feelings." Kurt teased his old classmate earning a growl. "Watch it, Hummel. Just because you're at different school now doesn't mean that you can't find yourself in another dumpster." Kurt tried to stifle his laugh at the mumbles that sounded like something along the lines of "Have to take a shower to get all the gay-mushy-stuff off." and "If you tell anyone I'll kill you."

The line went silent for a few seconds as both of them calmed down. "Thanks, Puck. Really, I mean it."

"Anytime, porcelain. And that pummeling offer still stands. Anybody ever gives you trouble you let me know first and I'll take 'em out."

"I'll keep a note of that."

He hung up the phone and looked at his clock. Almost midnight. Tomorrow would start a new day and he had no idea where that day would bring him. Kurt took a deep breath and layed down on his bed. For right now... Not knowing was okay.

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_**AN 2: Well...That could have been better, but I'm okay with it. I have big news too...*Drum roll* I'M GOING TO GLEE: LIVE TOUR IN PHILLY ON JUNE 8TH! I just got my tickets yesterday. :D I'm so excited, but at the same time it's so surreal...I can't wait, it's going to be amazing. If you're going too, let me know where! And if you've gone before, tell me how it is! I'd love to hear peoples ideas and experiences. Also you can add me on Tumblr now at **_h t t p : / / peace love and nerdy stuff . tumblr . com / **_Just take out all the spaces. And I always follow back!_**

**_Okay, I'll shut up now :P  
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_**Please let me know what you think! A million Klainebows to whoever reviews! ;)**_


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